There’s a meme going around right now talking about how 2024 feels like being awake for surgery. As someone who had three surgeries in 2024 (none of which I was awake for, thank god), I can concur. That is, in fact, what 2024 has felt like.

To me, it’s felt harsh in a way that 2023 was not. With some of that, I assume a bit of responsibility. Coming off the heels of a breast cancer diagnosis that sidelined me in ways I never thought possible, it’s no wonder I made “TAKE” my word for 2024. I was going to take every opportunity that came my way, which I very much did. That said, take a break was not part of the vernacular. And I’m most certainly feeling it.

While doing all the things is a great way to prove to yourself and others that you’re alive, it’s also a great way to realize…nothing really matters. I’ll unpack.

I saw another meme towards year-end that said: Do you ever just act silly with your child and think ‘Oh this is it. This is the point of everything.’

Whether or not you have children, the theme from that quote is: it isn’t spreadsheets, SMART plans, ownership presentations, a calendar full of meetings, incessant emails pinging, IMs dinging, or anything in that vein that truly matters. It’s the moments where time and space evade you, and the fight or flight response is not anywhere close to being deployed. I think we all know this, but sometimes it’s easy to forget.

My word for 2025 will be “CHILL.” This by no means indicates I’m going back to the sidelines to sit things out and phone it all in. It just means that now that I’ve successfully proved I’m alive, I don’t need to fly too close to the sun. I don’t need to run so hot. I don’t need to drive myself into the ground. Because if I’m not making palm fart noises with my son as we hold hands, it doesn’t actually matter.

The key here is not to just “hope” that 2025 is a chill year. It’s to intentionally make it that way. It’s to clear the path of things that are actively preventing me from prioritizing my remission and spending time being silly with my family. Whatever life demands of me, I need more leftover than I had in 2024 to do this.

So on that note, I will begin a new adventure in my career on January 13th. I will wrap up over a decade of being an accidental corporate girlie and head back to agency life, a place where I can give it my all, and still have some left over. This will begin after my new employer encouraged me to take a week off and reset. For me, that looks like scheduling some hair appointments, having lunch with a few girlfriends, and…putting out a new book. Yes, you that heard right. It’s (almost) time, and I am so excited.

The year of “chill” is off to a good start and I am here for it.